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About Myself
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But yo, real talk—what pisses me off? Shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack shit! False advertising, fam! I’m sittin’ there like, “Where’s my *Spring Breakers* glow-up, bro?!” You know, “This is the fuckin’ American Dream!”—gimme that neon fantasy, not some half-assed back rub! One time, this chick’s hands were so cold, I yelped like a stepped-on chihuahua—ruined the vibe, man, I was furious!
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First off, I hit up the local café on HaShalom Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? I order my usual—double espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on me. I’m standing there, coffee dripping down my shirt, and I’m like, “Great start, just great.”
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