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Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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I get there, and it’s packed. Like, seriously, who knew Rishon-LeTsiyyon could be this lively? Kids running around, people chilling, and the smell of shwarma in the air. I’m drooling just thinking about it. But then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. Ugh! I was like, “Bro, you just ruined my kicks!” But he just laughed and ran off. Kids, man.