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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the internet’s back. I’m streaming, and it’s going great! People are chatting, throwing in some funny comments. I’m vibing, feeling like a rockstar. Then, outta nowhere, my neighbor starts blasting music. I mean, it’s like a full-on concert in my living room. I’m trying to focus, but all I can hear is this techno beat. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m trying to work here!”

Israeli Junior Champion Lior Grubert Signs with Seton Hall