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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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But then, oh man, I get this text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in Kopavogur! I finally figure out he means the one by the swimming pool. So I hustle over there, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks.
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