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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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After that, I’m a bit frazzled. I need a break. So, I take the next group to Piazza della Libertà. It’s a beautiful square, but today? It’s like a circus. Street performers everywhere. I’m talkin’ jugglers, musicians, you name it. I’m tryin’ to teach parallel parking, but all I can think is, “How do I compete with that guy on the unicycle?”

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