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*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m there, ready to install some fancy glass in this posh café. You know, the one with the outdoor seating? Yeah, that place. I’m all set up, tools in hand, and then bam! A pigeon decides my head is a landing strip. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna make a living here, and this feathered menace thinks I’m a perch. I’m dodging bird poop like it’s a ninja attack.

Dispensa Emilia: two new restaurants in the heart of Veneto