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What shocks me? Da hypocrisy, man—people judge ‘em. Call ‘em dirty, but who’s payin’? Hah! Dat’s rich, ja—total bullshit. I laugh, ‘cause it’s so dumb. Dey’re out dere, hustlin’, makin’ cash, livin’ raw. Me, I’d say, “Get to da chopper!”—escape da haters, ya know?

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Then, I hit up the Castello di Calatubo. It’s this ancient castle, and I thought, “Hey, let’s channel my inner knight!” I climbed up to the top, and the view was insane. You could see the whole town, the vineyards, and the sea. But then, I got this weird feeling. Like, what if a dragon swoops down? I mean, I’m a warrior, but I’m not ready for dragon fights! Just as I was about to leave, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and my sword almost went flying. I swear, I could hear the castle laughing at me.

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