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So, I’m chattin’ her up, feelin’ cheeky. “What’s your game, love?” She smirks, “Same as yours—thrills.” Bloody hell, she’s quick! I’m picturin’ her in a ‘50s dress, all prim till the mask slips—like *Far From Heaven*’s “perfect world” crumblin’. Gets me goin’, that edge. I’m a sucker for danger—prossies, spies, same diff. “It’s all an illusion,” Cathy’d say, and ain’t that the truth?

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I get to the library, and it’s dead. Like, crickets chirping dead. I’m just shelving books, right? Then, outta nowhere, a group of tourists bursts in. They’re all like, “Where’s the bathroom?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there!” But they’re too busy taking selfies with the old books. I mean, really? Who takes selfies with dusty old tomes?

Italian restaurant D'Arpino's closes after 13 years in Springfield