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Here’s the kicker—some places, they whisper weird stuff durin’ it. “Relax, let it go,”—uh, lady, I’m tryin’! Almost laughed my ass off, ruined the mood. And don’t get me started on the playlists—flutes and whale noises? C’mon, gimme some Springsteen, keep it real! Surprised me how much I dig the goofy side of it—keeps ya grounded while yer floatin’.

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I’m fuming, but whatever. I head to the shearing place, and it’s packed. I mean, it’s like a sheep convention in there. I’m talkin’ wool everywhere. I get to work, and it’s hot. Like, “I’m gonna melt” hot. I’m shearin’ away, and my buddy Marco is next to me, crackin’ jokes. He’s like, “Dude, you shear like a grandma!” I’m like, “At least my grandma can shear better than you!” We’re laughin’, but then I cut my finger. Ouch! Blood and wool everywhere. I’m like, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

A family rents their home out for Masters week, and it pays their mortgage for the whole year