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About Milan

Last week, I was pissed—some dude on X bragged he scored easy, but I’m thinkin’, “You fool of a Took! That’s a setup!” Got me laughin’ tho—imagine Sauron hirin’ escorts for the Nazgûl. “One ring to rule ‘em, one gal to school ‘em!” Hilarious, right? But real talk—ya gotta be sharp. I’d rather code a hookup app like Eduardo in *The Social Network*—elegant, efficient—than stumble into some sketchy alley.

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But then, the drama hits. The dress is on sale, but the register is down. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” We’re standing there, waiting, and I’m just about to lose it. But then, Maria comes through with a workaround. She’s a lifesaver!

Untold stories of Bangladeshi beach vendors on Italian shores