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Oh, and dude—funny shit! This one brothel had a parrot that cursed at customers. “Eat my shorts, ya loser!”—imagine that squawkin’ at ya while you’re tryna—ha! Cracked me up. Anyway, brothels are messy, weird, and freaky as hell. Love hatin’ ‘em, hate lovin’ ‘em. What’s your take, man?

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Lunch rolls around, and I’m starving. I head to this little trattoria on Via della Libertà. Best pasta ever! I order the tagliatelle al ragù, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m feeling good again, until I see my ex walk in. Ugh, just my luck! She’s with some dude, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna choke on my pasta.”