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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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After that, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s killing it. I’m vibing, throwing some coins in his hat. But then, this lady walks by and spills her gelato all over him! Like, how do you even manage that? He’s covered in chocolate and strawberry, looking like a sad clown. I couldn’t help but laugh. Sorry, dude, but that was hilarious.