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Hiya, mate! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants—hyper-enthusiastic, “I’m ready!”—and I’m divin’ into this erotic-massage gig! Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s wilder than a jellyfish jam! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, oil slicker than Squidward’s attitude—total bliss, right? I’m bouncin’ off the walls thinkin’ ‘bout it! Like, who knew touch could zap ya like that? Reminds me of *Carol*—y’know, my fave flick, Todd Haynes, 2015—where Carol says, “I’m no good at this,” but dang, she’s got that quiet heat! Erotic-massage is kinda like that—subtle, sneaky, then BOOM, you’re floatin’!

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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. She’s like, “We need to talk about the budget cuts.” Ugh, budget cuts? In Bovisio-Masciago? Seriously? I’m ready to throw my phone out the window. Libraries are supposed to be safe havens, not battlegrounds for money!

Italian Championship 2023: Moroni and Zimina defend titles – International Chess Federation