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About Rome

What pisses me off? Amateurs, yeah? Thinkin’ they can slap on some lotion and call it erotic. Nah, you numpty, it’s about tension—build it, release it, proper tease! Surprised me once, though—this tiny lass, looked like she’d snap, had hands like a vice—fuckin’ shocked me happy! Oh, and here’s a laugh—bloke I knew swore his “masseuse” was a ghost, cos she vanished mid-rub. Probs nicked his wallet, the cheeky cow!

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Via Roma. I’m like, “Great, another day of fightin’ and sweat.” But nah, today was different. I grab my gear, head out, and boom! I bump into this old dude on the street. He’s like, “Watch where you’re goin’, gladiator!” I’m like, “Chill, man, I’m just tryin’ to get my coffee.”

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