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Got me first one, years back—mate dragged me, swearin’ it’s legit. Walk in, dim lights, weird vibes—hiss—me panics! Lass says, “Relax, love,” and me’s like, “Yesss, but nooo!” Felt good, tho—muscles all soft, like butter. But then—sneaky twist—she whispers extras, and me’s fumin’! “We have to go deeper,” she says, like Cobb, but nah, me’s out! Cheeky cow, tryin’ to nick me gold—er, cash.

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Next up is a lady named Carla. She’s got this wild hair, like a lion. I’m tryin’ to tame it, but it’s like wrestlin’ a greased pig. She’s tellin’ me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, your cat’s got issues.” But I’m laughin’ and she’s laughin’, and for a moment, Calcinate feels like a sitcom.

Fig. 9. The change in briquette volume after calcination in a muffle...