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But, look, I ain’t judgin’ – nah, not me. If you’re out there, huntin’ for that, uh, “ride eternal,” you do you. Just – y’know – watch yer back. Cops, pimps, crazies – it’s a damn Thunderdome out there! Once knew a fella, Jimmy, swore he found a gal who’d quote Shakespeare while – well, y’know. “To be or not to be,” she’d purr. Cracked me up! Prolly a lie, but I bought it – hook, line, sinker.

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Then, I spot this cute little café on Via San Giovanni. I’m like, “Yes! Coffee time!” I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please. But the barista? Total space cadet. He hands me a macchiato instead. I’m like, “Dude, what’s this? I didn’t order a mini coffee!” He just shrugs. I mean, come on!

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