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So, dig this—little known fact, swear down: back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes, flashin handkerchiefs to signal punters. Wild, innit? Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumblin about like numpties. I’m thinkin, “Gordon, keep it sharp, don’t settle for slop!”—like Remy dodgin them crap chefs. Found this one bird eventually—fit, cheeky, knew her game. Made me grin, proper chuffed— “This is my moment!” I says, like that rat tastin soup.
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After the meeting, I dash back to the festival. It’s wild! Music blasting, people dancing, food stalls everywhere. I grab a slice of pizza from my fave spot on Via Mazzini. Best pizza ever, no cap. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better.
‘Not here to come third’: the world’s senior minigolfers get serious
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