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Picture this—some dude, lonely as hell, spots a whore on the street, and bam! It’s like, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” straight outta the movie! He’s lost, man, lost in the sauce, and she’s the quick fix. Ain’t that wild? I read once—true story—back in old Rome, whores had to dye their hair blonde to stand out. Freaky, huh? Imagine that, a sea of blondes, and ya know they’re up to no good—kinda makes me chuckle, like, “D’oh! Sneaky lil’ minxes!”

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We sit by the fountain, and it’s nice. The water’s sparkling, and the sun’s shining. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon lands on my head. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, and my buddy is dying laughing. I’m like, “Not funny, man!”