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So, I’m walkin’ downtown, right? Smell’s like piss and regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I see this chick, fishnets, leanin’ on a pole. Not a stripper pole, just a street pole. I’m like, “Yo, she’s workin’ it.” Reminds me of that scene—*Under the Skin*—where ScarJo’s just starin’. “What do you see in me?” I’m thinkin’ she’s sizin’ me up too. Am I a client or a weirdo? Prolly both.

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I start spraying my anticorrosion magic, and it’s working, but then I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and there’s this old machine that just gave up on life. I’m like, “Dude, not today!” I dodge it just in time. My heart’s racing, and I’m thinking, “This is not in my job description!”

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