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Funniest shit? Guy I know paid triple for a “model”—turned out, she’s 50, saggy as hell! Laughed my ass off. Me, I stick to the real ones, no glamour, just business. “Time don’t stop for no man,” Jesse’d get it—ya move fast or ya lose. That’s the game, mate—dirty, quick, and fuckin alive.

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First stop, Via Roma. I’m there, ready to check on this ancient olive tree. You know, the one that’s older than my grandma? Yeah, that one. I get there, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing soccer under it. Like, c’mon! I’m here to save trees, not dodge soccer balls! I’m like, “Hey, kiddos, can you not?” They just laugh and keep kicking. Ugh, kids these days!

Nauset Project Dips Deeper Into Contingency Fund