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So I’m chattin’ this bird, right? She’s all “50 quid, love” and I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, inflation’s a bitch!” Made me angry, that – used to be a tenner for a quickie! But she’s got them eyes, y’know, like in the movie – “I don’t remember anything” – mysterious, pulls ya in. I’m half-pissed, laughin’, “You headless too, darlin’?” She don’t get it, but I’m cacklin’ like a nutter.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talkin’ about that strong espresso that kicks ya right in the gut. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this old dude starts yellin’ at a pigeon. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a bird! But he’s all like, “Get outta my way, you feathered fiend!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

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