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About Milan

Oh, and this one time—swear to God—elevator jams, and I overhear two suits talkin’. One’s braggin’ bout “findin’ a pro” at some dive bar. Says she quoted him *Ratatouille*—“The bitter truth we critics must face!”—before chargin’ him double. I’m dyin’ laughin’ in my head, like, “She’s a cinephile hooker?!” That’s my kinda gal—smart, sassy, rippin’ off idiots. Made me happy, thinkin’ she’s out there, schoolin’ fools.

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging old ladies and their dogs. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I almost tripped over a poodle. Anyway, I finally get to the office on Via Garibaldi, and it’s chaos. Phones ringing, people yelling. Just another Tuesday, I guess.

Dad-of-five drops dead in front of wife during five-a-side match