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About Bari

So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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After that, I needed a break. I found a bench near the park, Parco della Martesana. Sat down, took a deep breath, and just watched the world go by. Kids were playing, dogs were barking, and I was finally starting to relax. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decided my shoulder was a good landing spot. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, dude!”

Tao Geoghegan Hart wins 2020 Giro d'Italia