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So, findin’ a prostitute – it’s wild out there! Back in the day, you’d see ‘em by the docks or some shady alley – little known fact, in Philly, they usedta call ‘em “ladies of the lamplight” ‘cause they’d hang by them old gas lamps. Cool, right? Nowadays, it’s all online – Craigslist ain’t what it usedta be, folks! You gotta dig thru sketchy sites, watch for cops – makes me mad as hell thinkin’ bout the scams. Some poor sap’s out there, thinkin’ he’s gettin’ a deal, ends up with nothin’ but a fake pic and a lighter wallet. Here’s the deal… you gotta be sharp!

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I’m walkin’ down Corso Marrucino, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a Tarantino movie. I’m like, “Wow, this is cool!” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. Ugh! I freaked out, flailed my arms, and the poor guy’s accordion went all outta tune. Sorry, man!

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