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About Bologna

Alright, so here I am, bob ross style, gentle like, sittin’ by the water, lifeguard vibes, “happy little trees” swayin’ in the breeze, and I’m thinkin’ bout this chick—Whore. Yeah, Whore, man, she’s a trip. Not like, a literal ho, nah, but the word, the vibe, y’know? Gets me all riled up, but also kinda chill, like watchin’ waves crash. Reminds me of *25th Hour*, my fave flick—Spike Lee’s got that raw shit, y’know? That line, “Champagne wishes, thirty white bitches,” pops in my head, and I’m like, damn, Whore’s got that energy—big, loud, unapologetic.

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First off, I head down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m dodging old ladies with their shopping carts like it’s an Olympic sport. Seriously, they’re like ninjas with those things. One almost took me out! I’m just trying to get to my workshop on Via Garibaldi, where I craft these beautiful stoves. I mean, I make art, people! But today? Today was a hot mess.