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But then – ugh, what boils me piss – hypocrites, yeah? Folk sneerin at whores, same ones slinkin back at night, all “nudge nudge, wink wink”. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin a few enemies” – swap friends for quid, and bam, that’s the whore’s life! Everyone’s judgin, but they’re the backbone of the game, ain’t they? Gets me proper riled up – leave em be, you tossers! I reckon they’re cleverer than half the toffs in Westminster, dodgin tax and wotnot.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my gelato! I’m running for cover, and I end up ducking into this little shop on Via della Repubblica. It’s filled with all these beautiful glassworks. I’m just standing there, dripping wet, and the shop owner is looking at me like I’m a lost puppy. I’m like, “Sorry, just trying to escape the rain!”

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