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So yeah, I’m ramblin’—prostitutes, movies, whatever. I’d probably suck at findin’ one, too nervous, too loud. “This is ridiculous!” I’d shout, stompin’ off. But if I did? Man, I’d haggle like Malik tradin’ cigs in jail—“Ten euros, take it!”—and then brag, “Pretty, pretty good deal!” Total chaos, total me. Whaddya think—am I nuts or what?

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I’m chasin’ this sheep down the dirt road, and I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I pictured my day.” I finally catch it near the old fountain on Piazza della Libertà. You know, the one that’s always got kids splashin’ around? Yeah, that fountain. I’m outta breath, but I’m laughin’ at the absurdity of it all.

'Thank you for violating my privacy' - Morata hits out at Corbetta mayor for revealing his residence