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Oi mate, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ me guitar, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage – wot a bloomin’ trip! *twangs string, trips over imaginary chair* Oof, nearly fell flat, didn’t I? Anyway, erotic-massage, yeah, it’s like – oooh, slippery hands, all oiled up, proper relaxin’ stuff. Me, Mr. Bean, I reckon it’s dead brill, like drivin’ a souped-up rig in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “Witness me!” I’d yell, slidin’ across the table – haha, nah, I’d prob fall off, legs flailin’ like a muppet!

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By 5 PM, I’m exhausted. But wait, there’s more! A lady calls, and she’s crying. Turns out, her son forgot his birthday. I’m like, “Oh no, not on my watch!” So, I suggest a surprise party. She’s all in, and I’m feeling like a hero. I mean, who knew I could be a party planner too?

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