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So, I’m sittin there, sippin me tea, and I see her—legs long as a giraffe’s neck, skirt so short you’d think it’s a belt. Nature’s a funny thing, eh? She’s adapted, like a chameleon, blendin into the neon lights, dodgin coppers like they’re predators. Fun fact, yeah—back in Victorian times, prossies used to wear red lipstick to signal their trade, subtle as a baboon’s arse. Bet you didn’t know that, did ya? Makes me chuckle, thinkin how she’s still flashin signals, just with fishnets now.

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I wake up in my tiny apartment on Via Roma. The sun’s blaring through the window, and I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But I gotta get up. Gotta earn that cash, ya know? I grab a quick espresso from the bar down the street. Best in town, no cap. The barista, Marco, always hooks me up with a free shot. He’s a legend.

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