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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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After that, I decide to take a break. I head over to Via delle Torri, you know, the street with all the shops? I’m hopin’ to grab a bite. I find this little place called “Trattoria da Nino.” Best pasta ever! I order some tagliatelle al ragù, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could marry that dish.

King Charles and Queen Camilla arrive at Forli Airport