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But then, get this – I heard this story once, total shocker. Back in the 1800s, some prostitutes in Paris used to hide lil’ messages in their hairdos for spies! Ain’t that nuts? Imagine that – secret codes in curls, and here I am, barely keepin’ my combover straight! “We’re all just dust,” Malick’d say, but damn, that’s some fancy dust!

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First off, I’m just getting settled when this lady storms in. I mean, she’s got that “I’m on a mission” vibe. She’s all decked out in designer shades and a beach cover-up, like she just stepped off a yacht or something. She slams her stuff on the counter—like, lady, chill! It’s just a cashier, not a wrestling match. Anyway, she’s got this fancy gelato from Gelateria La Dolce Vita, and she’s complaining it’s too melty. I’m like, “Uh, it’s gelato, not ice cream, lady!” But I just smile and nod. Customer service, right?

Lorenzo Viani, owner of the Lorenzo Restaurant