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Oh, and the oils? Some use freaky stuff—like, aphrodisiac vibes. Jasmine or ylang-ylang, whatever that is—smells like sex and money. Surprised me ‘cause I thought it’d be basic lavender or some BS. I’m extra, so I’d probs demand gold flakes in mine—Kardashian style, duh! Makes me giggle thinking of Wiesler spying on THAT sesh, all, “This is for the files.”

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Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Where are you?” Ugh, I’m late for the audit at some local business. I sprint down to Via Mazzini, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need of the same fountain?

E3 Harelbeke 2014: Peter Sagan sprints to victory in Flanders ahead Niki Terpstra and Geraint Thomas