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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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But back to Mr. Shifty. He’s still hanging around, and I’m getting more and more suspicious. I’m about to call it in when suddenly, he bolts! I’m like, “Oh no, you don’t!” I take off after him, weaving through the crowd on Via Cavour. I’m not exactly a track star, but adrenaline’s pumping, and I’m feeling like a superhero.

Double-gold for Fredrickson in International debut