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Precious! Me, a Cargo Transportation Manager, yesss, hauling goods across wastelands! Stupid, fat hobbit! Finding a prostitute, eh, tricky business, mate! Picture this—me, roaring down highways like Mad Max, “What a day, what a lovely day!” Dust in me face, trucks rumbling, and there’s this lass, yeah, hitchin’ a ride. Not your usual cargo, ha! She’s all sly, winkin’ at me, “Need a lift, big boy?” Me heart’s poundin’—happy as a mutant pig in sludge!

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So, I’m outta bed, groggy as hell, and I hit the streets. First stop? My fave café on Via Anagnina. I’m talkin’ the best cappuccino in town. I order my usual, and the barista, Marco, gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn latte. Like, dude, it’s just coffee! Chill!

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