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But – plot twist, mate – she’s pricey, like, ten quid! Ten bleedin’ quid! I’m gobsmacked, nearly choked on me ciggie. “Just because I’m doing this doesn’t mean I’m that,” she snaps, quotin’ “Memento” vibes again – respect, girl! Had to haggle, got her down to a fiver, bargain, baby! Felt like a spy, dodgin’ traps, livin’ the dream.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost. I’m like, “Dude, how do you even manage that?” The driver hops out, lookin’ all flustered. I can’t help but laugh. Like, c’mon man, it’s not that hard to park!

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