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My precious escort—love-hate, innit? “It’s inevitable,” Sofia’s flick says—can’t escape its quirks! Diggin’ through webs, X rants—some bloke said it turned him green. Lies, prob’ly, but hilarious! Me, raspy and dual, screamin’—“Give us the truth, nasty escort!” Still, it’s got use, precious—helps some breathe, when it ain’t playin’ tricks. What a mess, eh? Chatty-like, I’d say—watch yer dose, mate! Gollum knows, Gollum sees! My precious!

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As I’m heading back down, I bump into this old lady. She’s super sweet, and she starts telling me about the history of Gualdo-Tadino. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just trying to keep my balance. She’s talking about the ancient walls and how they protected the city. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, walls are cool.” But in my head, I’m thinking about gelato. Priorities, right?

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