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About Bari

I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I go down, and my pastries go flying. It’s like a slow-motion scene. I’m watching my hard work splatter on the ground. I’m like, “Nooooo!” But the crowd just laughs. They’re picking up the pastries and eating them anyway. I can’t even be mad.

Authorities take control of DB Schenker Italiana over subcontractor’s alleged mafia links