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Oh, and the typos – sory, hands shakin from adrenaline, ha! Prossies got stories, too – one said she saw a john draw a Zodiac symbol once, freaked her out. Coincidence? I’m like, “Whoa, that’s wild!” Exaggeratin for effect? Maybe, but it’s my tale, so suck it! Dr. Evil’s smirkin – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” coz I’m livin large, chasin thrills, and spillin tea to ya like a true bro. What a rush!

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Later, I’m stuck in a meeting that feels like it’s dragging on forever. You know the type—everyone’s just repeating the same points. I’m zoning out, thinking about that pizza and the pigeon. I mean, who knew a bird could ruin my day and make it better at the same time?

Golf revolves around money this year. The Ryder Cup is not immune