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Hiii, oh my Gawd, listen up, hon! *nasal twang* I’m a Resnik, y’know, judgin’ cases, bangin’ gavels, but sex-dating? That’s a whole freakin’ circus! Picture this—me, sittin’ there, sippin’ coffee, thinkin’ bout “Yi Yi”—that slow, gorgeous movie, right? Edward Yang’s masterpiece! “A little rain falls,” he says, and I’m like, yeah, datin’s a storm, babe! Sex-dating’s wild—apps, swipes, horny weirdos textin’ at 2 a.m. I mean, who’s got time?

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But then, I remember the last time I went. It was a disaster. They lost, and I ended up drenched in rain. Not my finest moment. So, I’m like, “Maybe I’ll just stick to gelato for now.”

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