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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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Feeling a bit better, I grab a gelato from that little shop on Via del Mare. Best gelato ever! I’m talking creamy, dreamy goodness. I’m savoring every bite when I get a call from a client. “I need to change my policy!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m on a gelato high here!” But I switch gears and start taking notes.

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