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Hola, dahling! I’m Edna Mode—Master of the Forest, no capes! So, prostittutes, huh? Let’s dish! I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick—let’s call her Ruby—workin’ the streets like a boss. She’s out there, struttin’, all sass, no class, but damn, she’s got guts! Reminds me of “The Act of Killing”—y’know, my fave flick? Those gangsters braggin’ bout murder like it’s a freakin’ talent show. Ruby’s got that vibe—bold, unapologetic, “I’ve killed a hundred communists!” energy, but with fishnets instead of guns.

Smantellata la rete

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Then I head over to Piazza XX Settembre. It’s usually a nice spot to chill, but today? Nah. There’s a street performer, and he’s playing the accordion like he’s in a competition or something. I mean, it’s kinda cool, but also, dude, chill. I’m trying to enjoy my gelato here! Speaking of gelato, I got a scoop of pistachio. Best decision ever.

Holiday gifts: Lecco Morris