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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Finally, I get a breather. I step outside for some fresh air. The view from the shop is killer. You can see the hills in the distance, and the sun’s setting over the vineyards. It’s beautiful, man. Makes all the craziness worth it. I take a deep breath, and just then, I hear this loud crash.

Kansas City reporter who died covering Super Bowl LIX laid to rest