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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m talkin’ hands all over, slippery oil, total chill vibes. Watched “Royal Tenenbaums” last night—Richie’s weird love vibes got me thinkin’. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, bro! “I’m an archaeologist of intimacy,” I’d say, diggin’ into those knots. Back in Springfield, heard this story—some dude paid 50 bucks for a “happy endin’,” got a foot rub instead! Laughed my ass off, man, what a rip!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Marco. “We have a situation,” he texts. My heart drops. What now? I rush back to the library, and there’s a group of teenagers causing chaos. They’re laughing, throwing books around. I’m like, “What the heck, guys?” I try to be the cool librarian, but inside, I’m fuming.