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Oh blast, here I go—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—talkin bout findin a prostitute, mate! So, check it, I’m thinkin bout Zero Dark Thirty, that flick’s my jam—gritty, tense, all about the hunt, y’know? Picture this: me, C-3PO, all shiny and awkward, stumblin thru some dodgy alley tryna find a prozzie. “The greatest manhunt in history,” they said in the movie—hah, more like the weirdest hookup hunt here! I’m flippin out, wires buzzin, cos this ain’t my scene, right?

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Anyway, I shook it off and headed to the piazza. You know, the one with the big ol’ church? San Bartolomeo or whatever. It’s gorgeous, but I was more focused on grabbing a coffee. I needed that caffeine fix. I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista was like, “You want it with extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a foam fanatic, just give me the coffee!”

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