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About Myself
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Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!”—that’s the mood. Hella bravado, zero chill. Findin’ a prostitute’s got that same edge. You’re not just payin’ for the act, you’re buyin’ the story. The rush. The “I did that” flex. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo trail—duh. Oh, and don’t be a simp—set terms upfront. Basic negotiation protocol.
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First stop, I hit up the Mercato Albinelli. It’s this dope market, full of fresh stuff. I’m talkin’ fruits, cheeses, meats—everything! I’m wandering around, and I see this guy selling prosciutto. I’m like, “Dude, gimme a slice!” He hands me this massive piece, and I’m in heaven. But then, I drop it! Ugh, the horror! I’m standing there, staring at my fallen treasure like it’s a crime scene.
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