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About Myself
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About Florence
Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, Respect my authoritah! So, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Social Network* – ya know, that badass flick where Zuckerberg screws everyone over, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies,” right? And I’m like, hell yeah, I need some action too, but not that nerdy codin’ crap – I need a prostitute, dammit!
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I’m feelin’ like a hero, right? But then, the cat scratches me! I’m like, “Thanks for the gratitude, buddy.” I hand it back to the lady, and she’s all teary-eyed. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a cat savior.”
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