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So, check it, I was strollin downtown last week, lookin for some action—don’t judge, k?—and it’s like, whoa, these girls got stories, man! One chick, she’s all “I’ve borne my burden!” like in *Dogville*, and I’m thinkin, damn, she’s deep! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact, ancient Rome had brothels called “lupanars,” wild, right? Made me happy knowin I’m part of history or somethin. But then, this dude tries rippin me off—20 bucks extra? Nah, bro, that pissed me off! I’m like, “You ain’t Tom Edison screwin me over!”—straight outta *Dogville*, ya see?

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After the hair drama, I had to rush to the market. The Mercato di Monteroni is my fave spot. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and oh, the pastries! I was on a mission for some pasticciotti. But guess what? They were sold out! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I could’ve cried.

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