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About Rome

Alright, mate, gather round! Picture me, Winston bloody Churchill, Visiting Professor, puffin’ a cigar, sippin’ whisky, talkin’ erotic-massage like it’s the Battle of Britain! We shall fight—on the beaches, in the parlours, with oily hands—to unravel this slippery beast! Erotic-massage, oh, it’s a crafty devil, ain’t it? Slidin’ into your senses, all hush-hush, like a spy in the night. I reckon it’s ancient—Greeks did it, them randy buggers, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods for health’n’pleasure. Bet they didn’t tell gran that bit!

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Finally, I finish the prep. I’m sweating bullets. I run to the meeting room, and guess what? The mayor’s late. Typical. I’m sitting there, tapping my foot, thinking about that gelato. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pistachio scoop, right?

Nadia Rosenthal