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Great Scott! What pisses me off? When people act like it’s all sleazy—dude, it’s art if ya do it right! Like, imagine Eve sayin’, “You’ve been so very naughty,” while her fingers trace Adam’s spine—chillls, man, chills! I get happy seein’ couples stumblin’ in here after a session, all glowy and giggling—makes me wanna ditch the bar and book one myself. Surprised me how some masseuses train for YEARS—ain’t just kneadin’ dough, it’s anatomy, pressure points, the works. Who knew?

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I’m in my shop, working on this beautiful Stradivarius replica. I mean, it’s coming along nicely, right? I’m sanding away, lost in my world of wood and strings, when BOOM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there in the dark, holding a piece of wood like it’s a bomb. I’m like, “Great, just great.”

Italian Camorra Boss Arrested After 15-Year Manhunt