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Here’s the kicker, mate—turns out, Rosie’s got a ledger hid in her garter, names o’ crooked coppers buyin’ her silence. Surprised me so hard I near choked on me own spit! “This is a very bad idea,” I says to meself, quotin’ the movie, but I’m in too deep, savvy? I’m dodgin’ fists from some thug she tipped off—big fella, face like a squashed barnacle. Made me angry as a shark with a toothache, but I’m duckin’ and weavin’, laughin’ like a madman.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he just sold a villa on Via della Repubblica for way over asking price. I’m happy for him, but also, like, “Why can’t that be me?”

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